Analyzing and correcting an academic paper

Academic Conventions, implemented in a practical task[M1] 

. After[M2] [M3]  readind[M4]  the[M5]  material, I [M6] found the following evidence to support Swale’s theory[M7] ; “A discourse community is a group of people who share certain language using practises that can be seen as conventionalize” by social interactions within the group and in its dealing with outsiders. It is “bound together primarily by its uses of language, although bounds, perhaps, by other ties as well, geographical, socio-economic, ethnic, professional, and so on[M8] [M9] ”.

All human activities are culturally mediated. Culture itself mediates human actions in the [M10] sense that it is a system of share meanings or social inheritance embodied in the artefacts of a given social structure. “Discourse community can[M11]  not be isolated from other discourse communities and can not exist in the absence of a collaborative and an environment that supports risk-taking and reflection.” (Kelly[M12] -Kleese, 2001). [M13] 

The discourse community must[M14]  coexist with the dialectical union of reflection and actions. Reflection is understood as a process that is embedded in every day activities situated in school cultures that are social in nature, where interactions with others are an important medium in which reflection occurs[M15] . Teachers interact with colleagues in goal directed activities that require communication and exchange of ideas where reflection itself it is not contained wholly in the mind of the individual[M16]  but is distributed through signs systems and artefacts that are embedded in the social activity of the school community[M17] .

As teachers participate in the practises of the community and use strategies and artefacts according to the institutional requirements of their school community, reflection itself becomes constrained or supported in particular ways. In the text Theory into Practice by Peter Hoffman–Kipp, Alfredo J. Artiles, Laura Lopez Torres[M18] .It can be seen that discourse communities assert that teachers critical reflection without participation is as impossible as thought without Language[M19] .

References

Hoffma-Kipp, P., Artiles, A. J., & Lopez Torres , L. (2003) Beyond reflection: teacher learning as praxis. Theory into Practice. Retrieved August 2011, from www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NQM/is_3_42/ai-108442653

Kelly-Kleese, C. (2011). Editor’s choice: An open Memo to Community College Faculy and Administrators. Community College Review. Retrieved August 2011, from www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_0HCZ/is_1_29/ai_77481463

Swales, J. M.(1990). Genre Analysis: English in academic settings. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.

Papers Analysis (APA 6th ed)
Name and Surname:			Topic:
Draft #                               Date:			Title:
Dimension	Criteria				Points
LAYOUT	1	2	3	4	(5 to 20)
Format	No headers, no page numbers, no clear margins. Spacing problems. Inappropriate font.	No Header included. Page numbers absence. Spacing problems.	Header and page numbers included. Spacing problems. Inappropriate font.	Clear paper’s presentation. There are page numbers. Respected margins. Correct spacing and type & size of font. 1.5 or double interlining.	1
Header	Not included.	Included. Too much information. Or some info missing.	Included. Not well balanced.	Included. Precise info is given. Well balanced.	1
Main Title	Not included.	Included. Not suitable. Underlined, highlighted or italicized.	Included. Appealing. Underlined, highlighted or italicized.	Included. Appealing. Centered. Upper & lower cases.	1
References	Not mentioned. Plagiarism.	Mentioned vaguely. Not on a new sheet of paper. Not clear use of references or erroneous sources acknowledgement	Not clear use of references or erroneous sources acknowledgement. They are not written on a separate sheet of paper	Sources cited clearly in a reference list at the end of the paper. APA style.	1
In-text citations	Not included. Plagiarism.	Little use of in-text citations. Incorrect use of required style.	Included. Not well balanced. Repeated pattern. (e.g. too many quotes, only paraphrasing, etc).	Included. Well balanced. Different techniques applied. It is read smoothly. APA 6th ed. applied.	2
CONTENT	1	2	3	4	(10 to 40)
Data analysis	Not clear analysis. Relationships & comparisons cannot be followed. Too descriptive.	Brief. Not substantial. Some connections can be followed. Too descriptive.	Clear. Good analysis. No evidence presented. Inversion. Hedging. Conditionals.	Very good. Clear analysis. Comparisons can be established.  Evidence is provided. Inversion. Hedging & conditionals.	2
Terminology/ Word choice	Difficult to follow. Not understandable. Imprecise language. No acronyms clarification.	Inappropriate terminology. Little clarification. Some terms are not academic.	Legible terminology. Clarification. More academic style. Effective.	Legible terminology. New terms clarification. Effective vocabulary. Good use of connectors. Academic style.	3
Spelling	Full of errors. Unreadable.	Many errors. Some parts unreadable.	Few errors. Readable.	All words are spelled correctly.	3
Sentence variety	Many sentence fragments. Same pattern and length.	Some sentence fragments. Same pattern & length.	Most sentences are complete and varied in pattern & length.	Complete sentences in a variety of patterns and lengths.	2
Organization	Vague ideas. Long & confusing intro. Unrelated development. Blurred conclusion.	Some ideas connected to each other. Purpose established. No transitions. Main point presented. Two of the three parts are not clear or too long.	Connected ideas.  Clear purpose. Marked transitions. One of the three parts is not clear or too long.	Connected ideas: supporting the main topic. Clear and concise introduction. Clear development: good clarification of major points. Clear conclusion.	2
Punctuation	Frequent and major errors that obscure meaning.	Some frequent or major errors: Readers’ confusion.	A few errors.	No punctuation errors.	3
Paragraph content & paragraph length	Not balanced: too long & too short paragraphs are presented.	Some paragraphs relate to the topic. Not balanced: too long or too short paragraphs are presented.	Most paragraphs are related to the topic. Well balanced.	Paragraph length has been respected & achieved. Smooth. Clear and precise.	2
Grammar	Grammar choices are confusing. Mixture of tenses.	Some grammar mistakes. Grammar choices sometimes confuse the readers.	Appropriate grammar choice. No meaning interference.	Completely appropriate grammar choice: Help readers understand meaning.	3
Details	No or little details (such as explanations, examples, etc) to support & explain the topic.	Some accurate details. Do not always support topic.	Accurate info that supports the topic.	Accurate and relevant info that fully support the topic.	2
Tone & audience	Unclear & inappropriate tone. Audience not considered.	Inconsistent tone. Incomplete idea of audience.	Appropriate tone. Audience is considered.	Appropriate & consistent tone. Audience correctly identified.	2
				Total	60/30

Comments:

Be careful with paragraph length and papers should be acknowledge, that is to say include your name, surname, specify the assigment and draft number. All this information should be place at the top right corner of your page. Your papers should be left aligned and leave double space to signal the beginning of a new paragraph. And please, remember to use Arial or Time New Roman size 12.

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 [M1]This is my title for the mid term exam.

 [M2]You should include a title which summarizes the content of your paper and it is attractive to your audience. And also a header which is a brief summary of your title and paper. To include a header go to encabezado de pagina and select  ‘en blanco”. The header should be on the right margin of the page and it ahould appear in every page of your paper- . You also must include page numbers.

 [M3]You should flush left your paragraphs

 [M4]Reading

 [M5]What evidence are you referring to?. It is not an academic phrase, please change it.

 [M6]You cannot use the personal pronoun I in academic papers. It is better to say: it was found , that is to say use impersonal style

 [M7]Date

 [M8]When you cite author you have to include the name of the author, date of publication and page number. Do Swales say this? Or Are these the words of another author?

 [M9]Who says this? You have to cite the author, if not it is plagiarism

 [M10]Not academic

 [M11]spelling

 [M12]be careful with format. Check how to cite authors.

 [M13]Page number is missing

 [M14]It is a strong modal.

 [M15]You should cite your sources. Who says this? You? others authors?

 [M16]Punctuation

 [M17]Where is all this information taken from? You have to make reference to the author

 [M18]Titles are not cited in the body of the paper, you have to cite the authors. Titles go in the reference list and also you should include the date. If the paper has more than five authors your name the first author +et al. (author, et al.).

 [M19]You have to include a reference list at the end of your paper. It should go in a separate page and it has to include all the authors cited in your paper.